Allow him to experience you addressing his antics, with love, but with also sternness. It sucks that you like the ferrets more than your nephew, but you should at least try to be sympathetic to the fact that he is just a child, not an “asshole.” He might be on the path to becoming an asshole, but for now, he’s a kid who needs some guidance that he may or may not be getting. I do think that you should consider that your nephew’s behavior could be influenced by a number of factors this could be the byproduct of how his parents allow him to act, but it could also be related to anxiety or even a behavioral disorder. Though I wouldn’t suggest rushing to change the plan in place for if his parents were to be incapacitated, you can (and should) shut down his access to your animals during visits, and if you see fit, to limit how often he spends time in your home. The only way to find out where their heads are at is to talk to them, with more concern than judgment. Ask how things are going at home and at school his parents could be proactively trying to correct his behavior…or, they could totally be letting him get away with it not quite realizing how obnoxious it is. Explain that you love your nephew, but find some of his actions to be somewhat challenging. If this most recent visit wasn’t terribly long ago, talk to your sibling about what you’ve observed. When he is in your presence, you should politely but pointedly correct his behavior. ![]() ![]() How Do I Help Them Treat Her Better?īoth your nephew and his parents will have to grapple with what comes of him being allowed to behave as it seems he is. Any suggestions?Īsk a Teacher: Did Our School Overreact to My Child’s Thoughtless Remark?ĭear Care and Feeding: I’m Afraid My Daughter’s New Haircut Will Make a Dangerous Political Statementĭear Care and Feeding: My Sister Is Caving Under Our Parents’ Pressureĭear Care and Feeding: My Daughter’s Doctors Are in Uncharted Territory. We’re my brother and sister-in-law’s backup if something happens, but right now, I can’t imagine allowing the kid back into my home. Aside from banning him from ever even looking at my creatures again, I don’t know what to do. This cannot be age-appropriate, right? I’ve talked to their mom about getting him into therapy because of the behavior, but she won’t go for it. When all the adults lost it on him, he simply said, “Well, Aunt said they’re resilient!” Then he and his brother asked if they could stay the night. We thought it would be fun, until the nearly 11-year-old picked one of the ferrets up and DROPPED IT TO THE FLOOR INTENTIONALLY. Most recently, during a visit to my house, we got out some of our ferrets to let him and his brother play with, because the kids love animals and I felt sorry for them because my brother recently got rid of their dog (because the little asshole was feeding it people-food behind the adults’ backs, and it couldn’t be trained without the kids undoing any training that was being done). He gets into stuff that isn’t his, then lies or blames someone else. He’s allowed to “make his point” any time he’s in trouble. At home, he gets to play video games for HOURS every day, with little to no parental oversight. He used to stay with me frequently and we did all sorts of fun, mostly animal-related stuff together. I have a conundrum in the form of my nearly 11-year-old nephew. ![]() Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding from Jamilah Lemieux and the other columnists every week.
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